Crusader Kings 3: Broke and Desperate? A Guide to Beggary (and Slightly Less Beggy Options)
Ah, Crusader Kings 3. The land of intrigue, conquest, and... financial woes. You'd think ruling a kingdom would come with bottomless coffers, but alas, even the most glorious dynasties can find themselves staring down a mountain of debt taller than Mont Saint-Michel.
Fear not, fellow monarchs! This guide is here to equip you with the knowledge (and questionable morals) to navigate the murky waters of CK3 finances.
Option 1: The Humble Plea (AKA Begging)
Let's be honest, sometimes the simplest solution is the most effective. Who needs loans when you have the power of persuasion?
- Befriend a Rich Neighbor: Shower them with gifts, become their closest confidante, whisper sweet nothings about their exquisite taste in tapestries. Once their affection is secured, casually mention your "temporary cash flow situation."
- Target the Pope: If you're a Catholic ruler, the Papacy might be surprisingly generous. Become their champion, embark on holy wars, and generally be their best Catholic buddy. Then, with a tear in your eye and a sob story about a leaky roof, request a "donation."
- The Family Hustle: Exploit your familial bonds! Request financial "assistance" from your siblings, cousins, even your slightly disapproving mother. Remind them of that time you saved them from a particularly embarrassing diplomatic gaffe.
Remember: Begging is an art! Craft a compelling narrative, channel your inner bard, and who knows, you might just walk away with a hefty sum.
Option 2: The "Creative" Approach (AKA Slightly Dubious Methods)
While begging has its merits, for the truly desperate ruler, we venture into the slightly less savory territory.
- The Ransom Racket: Engage in some light kidnapping. (Disclaimer: I do not condone kidnapping, even in video games). Target someone wealthy enough to afford a ransom, but not powerful enough to declare war. Just make sure they're not essential to any alliances or you'll have a bigger problem than an empty treasury.
- The Marry-and-Loot Scheme: Find a ridiculously wealthy character, preferably with terrible genetics to ensure they don't last long. Seduce them, marry them, and then... well, let's just say "accidents" happen. Inherit their wealth and mourn their "untimely demise" with all the sincerity you can muster.
- The "Investment" Opportunity: Forge alliances with wealthy neighbors, then promptly declare war. Hopefully, they'll sue for peace and offer a hefty tribute in exchange for ending the hostilities. Just be careful not to push your luck too far.
Important Note: These methods come with risks and consequences. You might damage your reputation, anger powerful factions, or even be excommunicated. Proceed with caution and a healthy dose of realpolitik.
Option 3: The Responsible Route (AKA Actually Managing Your Finances)
Alright, alright, for those who prefer a less chaotic approach, here are some responsible financial tips:
- Manage Your Domain: Develop your counties, increase levies, and build profitable buildings. Every penny counts!
- Control Your Spending: Don't go overboard on feasts and court grandeur. Invest in your realm, not just your ego.
- Exploit Vassals: Increase taxes and levies from your vassals. Just be careful not to push them into rebellion.
Remember: A healthy economy is the foundation of a strong kingdom. Invest wisely, manage your resources carefully, and avoid the temptation of becoming a notorious beggar... unless it's absolutely necessary.
Bonus Tip: If all else fails, consider starting a new game with the "Abundant Resources" setting. Just sayin'.