Howdy, Partner! You Curious About How America's Team Gets to Those Away Games?
So, you're a die-hard Dallas Cowboys fan, bleedin' that signature blue and silver, and you're chomping at the bit to see Dak Prescott sling lasers on the road this season. But a nagging question keeps you up at night (besides those third-down interceptions): how exactly do America's Team get to their away games? Do they pile into a giant, star-shaped monster truck? Do they lasso wranglers to steer a team of prize-winning longhorns? (Wouldn't that be a sight in a New York parking lot?)
Fear not, my friend! The truth, while less yeehaw-inducing, is still pretty darn interesting. Buckle up for a hilarious journey (emphasis on hilarious, because wranglers and longhorns are definitely not involved).
The Not-So-Secret Weapon: Private Jets, But Fancy Ones (Probably)
Forget commercial airlines with crying babies and questionable legroom. The Dallas Cowboys travel like, well, like America's Team should. That's right, they take to the friendly skies in private jets. We're talking plush seats, enough legroom to do jumping jacks, and maybe even a little pre-game film session on a built-in projector (although knowing this team, it might be reruns of their last Super Bowl win).
Now, specifics about these private jets are about as tightly guarded as the secret recipe for Jerry Jones' famous stadium nachos (because let's be honest, those things are magical). But use your imagination: we're picturing sleek, aerodynamic birds with a giant Dallas star emblazoned on the tail. Maybe even with wings that morph into a giant hand doing the chop – just kidding (or are we?).
But Wait, There's More! The Ground Game (Because Private Jets Can't Land on the Field...Yet)
Those fancy jets might get the Cowboys to their destination city, but they can't exactly taxi right up to the stadium doors (unless they're planning a "Top Gun" landing, which we wouldn't put past them). That's where the trusty team buses come in. These aren't your average school buses filled with teenagers arguing over the aux cord. We're talking luxurious coaches with all the amenities: comfy reclining seats, entertainment systems, maybe even a mini-fridge stocked with Jerry's favorite sports drinks (though knowing him, it's probably just straight Diet Coke).