So You Want to Be Famous (After You're Dead)? A Guide to Getting Your Obit in the Washington Post
Let's face it, nobody wants to kick the bucket. But hey, if you must shuffle off this mortal coil, wouldn't it be nice to go out with a bang? Like, a whole Washington Post obituary kind of bang?
News Flash: Not Everyone Gets the White Glove Treatment
The Washington Post, bless their journalistic souls, doesn't exactly hand out obituaries like free samples at Costco. There are two main paths to getting your mug (or, well, former mug) in the paper:
- The Paid Notice: Your Chance to Shine (For a Price)
This is your classic "John Doe, beloved husband, father, and champion pie-eater, passed away peacefully..." situation. Here, you craft a loving (or perhaps slightly roast-y) message about the dearly departed, and the Post publishes it for a fee. Think of it as an afterlife ad campaign – you control the narrative (and shelling out some bucks).
Pro Tip: Get those sentimental tributes in early! The deadline is strict, and you don't want your loved ones scrambling to write a glowing obit while simultaneously mourning your, uh, demise.
- The News Obituary: The Holy Grail (and a Crapshoot)
This is the big leagues, baby! A newsworthy obituary, written by a Washington Post reporter, tells the story of your fascinating life. Did you invent the spork? Were you a champion tiddlywinks player? Maybe you secretly saved a baby from a runaway bus (or, a rogue shopping cart, we're not judging here). If your life was extraordinary (or at least mildly interesting), this is the route to go.
Here's the Catch: The Post gets to decide what's newsworthy. Sending them a heartfelt email about your grandpa's stamp collection probably won't do the trick. But hey, if you were a world-renowned tuba player or the inventor of the fidget spinner, this could be your shot at fame...from beyond the grave!
FAQ: Obituaries 101
- How to write a paid notice that's both informative and hilarious? Keep it light! Focus on the good stuff, and don't be afraid of a well-placed joke (as long as it's not too morbid). Remember, people are celebrating a life, not attending a funeral.
- How much does a paid notice cost? Prices vary depending on length and add-ons like photos. Check the Washington Post's website for current rates.
- How long can my paid notice be? Again, consult the Washington Post's website for specific word limits.
- Is there a deadline for submitting a paid notice? Absolutely! Those deadlines are firm, so don't wait until the last minute.
- How do I suggest someone for a news obituary? The Washington Post has a form and email address for suggestions. Be clear and concise about why your loved one's life deserves recognition.
So there you have it! The lowdown on getting your glorious obituary splashed across the pages of the Washington Post. Remember, life is short (and then even shorter), so make it count... or at least get a decent obit out of it.