The Ewings: Drowning in Dollars, Dripping in Diamonds
The folks on Dallas were about as subtle with their wealth as a Texas gusher. We're talking swimming pools filled with champagne (not recommended, by the way), helicopters as taxis, and enough Stetsons to open a hat store on Saturn. But just how rich were these oil barons, anyway?
The Jock Ewing Empire: Built on Black Gold
Jock Ewing, the family patriarch, was the original oil tycoon. Ewing Oil was a Texas legend, and judging by the size of Southfork Ranch (complete with its own herd of prize-winning cattle), business was booming. There's no official figure for Ewing Oil's worth, but let's just say they weren't clipping coupons at the grocery store. J.R. himself once boasted of the company being worth over a billion dollars. That's a lot of latitude for buying monogrammed bathrobes, even in the 80s.
The Fictional Fifteen: Keeping Up With the Vanderbilts (Sort Of)
Back in 2002, Forbes did a fun little list called the "Fictional Fifteen," ranking the wealthiest fictional characters. J.R. Ewing, bless his conniving heart, snagged the number nine spot with an estimated net worth of $2.8 billion. Not too shabby for a man who seemed to spend most of his days plotting against his brother Bobby and dodging lawsuits.
Ewing Oil: A Company Built on... Questionable Decisions?
Now, wealth doesn't guarantee stability. The Ewings were about as good at holding onto money as they were at staying faithful (which is to say, not very). Hostile takeovers, family feuds, and questionable business practices (looking at you, J.R.) meant Ewing Oil was on a constant rollercoaster ride. Remember that time they bought a whole chain of gas stations just to spite Sue Ellen? Yeah, not exactly ExxonMobil.
The Verdict: Filthy Rich, But Maybe Not Rockefeller Rich
So, the Ewings were undeniably wealthy. They had the land, the bling, and the questionable taste in interior design to prove it. But when it comes to fictional billionaires, they were more "Dynasty light" than full-on oil sheiks. Still, they did manage to keep Southfork Ranch afloat through multiple family squabbles and Bobby Ewing's whole "dream season" situation. Not bad for a bunch of Texans with a penchant for power plays.